Soul to Squeeze

Anonymous

Pandora’s box, the consequences I’ve known all along, yet I still broke the lock… now we’re both lost outside, deprived of insight, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for crossing the invisible line… because now it’s awkward, now it’s wrong, wrong to feel what I felt for so long, wrong to admit it, wrong to think it, wrong so wrong I’m in ruin, because I brought you here too, down to my universe of unsatisfying solitude, where mad thoughts upon sad thoughts soak the brain into a drenched mop, spilling unnecessary curiosity drops, strings of attachment connected to nothing, forever blowing hopelessly in the high winds of our mortality… I was a fool, I let my feelings run through you, and now we’re at a stand still, wavering prideful will… this invaluable moment, devotion can be like being stranded in the middle of the ocean, with only the slightest chance of rescue that can never come…it’s too late for us… fate doesn’t like to play with you when you’ve seen it’s face, fate likes to play the anonymous game… where rules are distorted and unsung, where I lost my heart and found the dark-side of the sun… and it’s funny that it’s sad, because it means Im growing up to be who I want to be, the right man…I’m hurt, but if this makes me stronger than my life is better…it’s the pain that teaches us the important, unforgettable things, it’s this shame that teaches me that discipline can be the right mistake to make… I was suppose to hold in whatever the heck this was, I never meant to put you through the turbulence of misguided trust… forgive and forget this whole event, erase and rewrite a future fit for the best… the girl I pursued and let go, just to hold for even a second something I couldn’t let go…I was exposed… I can’t promise you everything is going to be alright, I can only promise you that I’m going to try…falling and learning, perfecting my craft, for future endeavors of this sad man… To touch but not feel, to know but not understand… this wasn’t meant to be, this was meant to be ‘wait and see’, and waiting  impatiently was never something I was good at, now look at where we are at, the end of the train’s tracks, the edge of the world… but I won’t let you go over, I won’t let this pressure overwhelm us, we will live on and we will find that life is and always was a blessing… So I’ll nail down Pandora’s box, bury it, let the light escape with the setting sun, because it was a beautiful sight I could never touch, only feel inside, to not know why, but understand, that to be a better man means that sometimes I need to embrace the sad… I’m not sad, I won’t be sad… I’ll be just fine, we’ll be wiser tomorrow like a sunrise… brightening the night…